I hope all of you have your wrapping done, boxes mailed, all edible gift baskets sent, buckets of popcorn (three flavors) delivered here and yon. Guess what? Most of my house was decorated by the end of November including outdoor lights. It seems like yesterday we were stuffing ourselves with turkey and all the trimmings and sprawled on the sofa watching football in a stupor.

What a glorious month. The weather here is perfect, which means, alas, we really need a good soaking, so please perform your most graceful rain dance, chanting to your district weather minions to fountain say a million or so gallons of rain into No. Cal.

To boldly go where no one has gone before – I’m so completely jazzed that Captain James Tiberius Kirk went into space – again, only this time for real. William Shatner, 90, went up into space at Jeff Bezos’s invitation, the Jeff Bezos who will rule the world within seven years, no doubt in my mind.

Happy Gorgeous September: FIRST THING you do BEFORE reading on: Drink a glass of wine or beer, or partake of any other enjoyable substance in your drawer. Are you ready? Okay -- GO: It’s nearly the Autumn Equinox -- when day and night are equal, but beginning Thursday the 23rd, the day is a hair shorter and so days continue losing time until you’re bald when you most need your hair since it’s getting really nippy.

Time is NOT relative, no matter what the wild-haired dude postulated. Time knows no limits, no restraints, time is anxious to find a finish line and cross it first. But where exactly is the finish line? And is there anything or anyone to come in second? I only wish the Powers That Be would slow time down just a little bit, say make it less fleeting, as it were. If you watch The Big Bang Theory, you'll remember the episode when Leonard, Raj and Howard get stoned and Leonard tells Raj the Earth is moving too fast and to slow it down. Raj does exactly that. I need a Raj. It's hard to believe September is just around the corner