Catherine News

Happy August Newsletter 2016

August newsletter cat

Happy August Newsletter 2016

If you haven’t yet read INSIDIOUS, the publishing minions will be beating the bushes for any slaggards. Do not be a slaggard. Some of the minions really like the purple Venus Fly Trap cover – and if you don’t, they’ll think you have crappy taste and deserve punishment, e.g., you will not compete in the 2020 Tokyo Olympics. You will be forced to stay at home and watch the in-the-future Olympic games with the rest of the slaggards, who will be drowning their sorrow in nothing-but-water.

      So do not make me yell, “Slaggard alert!”

July 2016 Newsletter

Catherine Coulter July 2016 Newsletter cats

vol. 000 no. 555

Happy Mid-Summer:

Catherine Coulter June Newsletter 2016

June 2016 Catherine Coulter newsletter cats

Vol. 667 No. 002

Happy Summer Vacation Launch Month:

All of you with kids, take a deep breath, get out the backyard blow-up swimming pool, pull the Frisbee out of the closet, clean the basketball net on the garage door and get lots of sugar-free Kool Aid. After a week of enthusiasm and loads of fun, then you may justifiably begin to count off the day to camp or, if no camp, to pre-season football, a great three-hour distraction (for you, not the kids).

May Newsletter, 2016

Catherine Coulter May Newsletter Cats

Vol. 227 Num. 774

Blooming gorgeous incredible May:

All of you who live in climates like mine, I encourage you to sing the Hallelujah Chorus along with your hydrangeas and roses, the scent will grow sweeter, the leaves will shine greener and the birds will picnic nearby. And then, just maybe, you'll see a white rabbit in a tall hat running by as he consults his big pocket watch. Folk, it's magical May.

February 2016 News

Febvruary News Cats

Vol 111 no. 997

Happy Mid-Winter to all of you who are freezing your patoots off.

Shall I make you want to shoot me? It's 75 degrees right outside my front door, a lovely breeze is coming through the windows, a full sun hangs in the sky with lacy clouds waltzing by, and it's a three-hour drive to Lake Tahoe to magnificent skiing. As Sheldon says, neener neener . You're in New York and you say it's 1 degree right outside your front door? Would you believe me if I said I feel your pain?

Catherine Coulter January 2016 Newsletter

January Newsletter Cats

Vol. 886 No. 330

Yep, it's 2016, no way around it, no going back, and isn't that just like Time? Always moving in only one direction regardless of what you want. So you survived Christmas and New Year's Eve and like an intelligent being you watched that shiny ball drop at midnight on the 31st to the accompaniment of a million + voices shouting the countdown. Then you took yourself off to bed, with only one glass of champagne swimming around in your blood stream. Well done.

December Newsletter 2015

December Cats

Vol. 77 Number 49

Merry Christmas One and All:

November Newsletter 2015

November 2015 cats

Vol. 449 No.  118

Hi Guys:

Merry Thanksgiving to all of you. Yes, it's true, I admit it: we've already started decorating since Christmas parties begin the first week in December.  But, listen, I love Thanksgiving, so all the Thanksgiving decorations are up until Black Friday. (Can somebody tell me why it's called Black Friday? I know what BFF means, but BF? I really don't think they're related but I could be wrong.)

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